Silver Linings

I know it can really get on some people’s nerves to talk about the “gifts” of cancer, but I love talking about them.  I feel truly grateful for all the amazing things to come from this really hard and scary thing.  My hope is that in sharing some of mine, you will start to feel as though maybe, just maybe, this won’t be so bad.

Favorite silver linings:

• Extreme self care—I have learned better how to really listen to what my body needs. Sleep? Yes.  Super amazing body lotion? On it.  Waffles? Coming right up.  Joking aside, I am more sensitive now to what I need on many levels.  If I feel a little out of sorts emotionally, I notice sooner and make time to do the things that fill me up—meditation, journaling, alone time, or friend time. 
• Love of others—I have never felt this loved and cared for in my whole life.  This love has come in many forms: encouraging words from my husband, many hugs from friends, meals and more meals, great conversations at chemotherapy, trips to my doctors appointments, walking buddies, fun gifts.
• Deeper relationships—There have been wonderful, rich conversations with my loved ones and friends about the really important stuff.  My best friend from college and my sister came out to take care of me twice and we have bonded over washing my hair, checking my drains, cheering me through the hard AC infusions, and feeding me snacks galore.  My husband and I have become closer in a way that only going through something really hard can do.
• Spiritual growth—It took a crisis to help me realize some important things:  The answers lie within me and I am learning to look there first. This life is short and magical and I appreciate that in a way I couldn’t before. I know now that I am not my body.  I am love and light and I don’t have to prove myself professionally or personally to be worthy.  It would be an honor to grow old and experience all that growing old entails.
• Self-confidence and pride—I am doing this really hard and scary thing!  I’m not only doing it, but I am thriving through it. Everything I wasn’t sure I could do, I did with humor and grace (and tears).  And you can too! I’m proud of my strange looking boobs (that might look less strange eventually), my bald head, my log of miles walked, the new lines around my eyes, the peach fuzz growing on my head, and my friends and family who helped me through.

What are your silver linings? I bet you have more than a few to share.

Photo by Artem Sapegin on Unsplash.