The Bright Side of Hair Loss

I would like to begin by admitting that, although I am smiling in all of these pictures, I started off completely freaked out by the thought of losing my hair. So, if you are afraid, I get it. And to top it off, my son who was seven at the time and did not know enough to be afraid of cancer, made it clear he was not comfortable with the idea of mom losing her hair. When we gave him the big three minute speech about the upcoming chemotherapy, his only question was, “how short will your hair be?!” Pretty short, kiddo, pretty short.

I decided the only way to turn this into a positive was to buy several fun and inexpensive wigs that could help me to try on different personas/hair that I had always wanted to try. I named the wigs as I acquired them and had fun with it.

I had read that it could feel pretty traumatic to have long-ish hair fall out, so I decided to cut my hair short close to the time that I had been told my hair would start to fall out (after the second infusion). I highly recommend this approach as it really helped me get used the change slightly more gradually. It was still fairly traumatic, and I cried my eyes out the day the bulk of my short hair fell out in the shower. There were clumps of hair in my hands and others landing on and sticking to my body. I can only imagine how much harder it would have been if my hair had been longer. Here is a before and after of my short hair cut.

After I had dried off from my shower and recovered enough emotionally to make a phone call, I called Jeff and told him, “Today is the day!” So later that day with a cocktail in my hand, Jeff somewhat gleefully (he said it was because he now had physical proof the chemo was doing what it is supposed to) gave me a close shave.

Becoming comfortable with my bald head was a process. For the first few months, I wore wigs when I went out and scarves or hats at home. I know that for others, wigs are a big uncomfortable pain in the rear so they never wear them, but for me, they were my security blanket. I wanted to look normal. It took me a long time to grow weary of my wigs, but when I did, I switched to great scarves/head wraps I found on Amazon (listed on the Great Products page of this blog). They were by far the cutest and most comfortable option for me once I retired my wigs.

One hot summer evening, after a particularly hot hot flash, I’d had it with my scarf and I tugged it off when I was out to dinner. By that time, I had some hair, but was still mostly bald on top. I probably looked goofy, but I didn’t care and decided I was finally ready to show the world my situation. I felt surprisingly confident and was thankful to discover there was another bright side of hair loss–true comfort in my own skin.

Some advice for those about to experience hair loss–know that your feelings around your bald head and head coverings will change. What works for you at the beginning, might not be what works for you over time. And although many of us never become completely comfortable with our bald heads, it does become easier over time. Then one day, you can look back on pictures of yourself without any hair and say, “Damn, that was hard, but I did it and I am oh so grateful for the hair I have now.”